Spring Cleaning
by SpellboundWinter
Summary: Pip was no ordinary housecleaner. He had a skill that could be only mastered through many years of training and experience. He was a natural born dust killer. Armed with a duster in one hand and an apron protecting him from dirt, he was a real knight. And Damien was a dust-bunny dragon trying to distract him. Meanwhile, the two try not to alarm the woman in the other room. Nicdip.


The blonde was better than any hired maid.

Phillip 'Pip' Pirrup was no ordinary housecleaner. He had a skill that could be only mastered through many years of training and experience. He was a natural born dust killer. Armed with a duster in one hand and an apron protecting him from dirt, he was a real knight.

Pip was a cleaning knight in shining armor. Gleaming and neatly buffed too!

The blonde leans up on his tippy toes, dusting down a few frames. His eyes catching the photograph. He lifts the picture frame up to his face, smiling at the faint memory and how exactly they met. That party at Token's and the terrible taste of beer. The taste of oats and hops made the blonde sick. But enough about the stout. And here was Nichole. The sweet woman with a sassy attitude. She was moody and a little on the bitchy side, but she was ( _somehow_ ) his. That beautiful young lady was with him of all people. Not Token. Not Kyle. Pip. Yes, his girlfriend!

Pip wasn't gay. Nope! Not one bit.

A hand reaches out and slaps him on the ass roughly. The blonde yips, standing up straight, dropping everything he had in his hand, including the frame that thankfully didn't shatter to pieces. The mysterious and foreign hand grabs and squeezes. "Oh my Pippy, I think you missed a spot."

That snarky voice. That radiating heat and not to mention the ego that seemed to cloud this mysterious figure. Pip could probably guess who it was without even looking. But, Pip twirls on his heel, causing the hand to leave his posterior and to reveal what smug smartass would interrupt his cleaning time. The blonde peers up, his blue eyes meeting cloudy amber ones.

Damien Thorn.

"And where exactly did I miss a spot, Mr. Clean?"

The snide little devil points downwards at the small cupboard, teeth gleaming and furry eyebrows arched downward, "You didn't clean this."

"Yeah, right, well that's where the saying 'clean from top to bottom' comes from! I have cleaned the top and not the bottom. Damien, _please_." The way 'please' rolled off his tongue, he could see that Damien was very much amused. The noirette grins, his menacing fingers curl around his waist, yanking him flush against him. Coming a bit short of him, Pip growls, beating the man's shoulders, "Off already! I need to clean al this up! What if Nichole sees us like this?"

The other man hums, leaning further into him as he purrs out, "What if she did find us like this. I wonder what she would say…" his mischievous palms run up his shirt, crawling up his back to drag back down, clawing the way he knew Pip liked, "Now, as I said, clean that cupboard Pippy."

Pip huffs, feeling the grip loosen as he turns back to the hunk of wood and drawers, slowly bending down. He feels Damien jerk him back slightly, his bottom brushing against his crotch. How slimy and typical of the Anti-Christ. Pip could have easily elbowed the man in the jaw, but the noirette's temper was one he wasn't quite ready to deal with today.

The Anti-Christ was moody and had a fiery temper.

Get it, fiery? Like hell?  
No?

Anyways, as soon as Damien's hands left Pip's waist, he was feeling more at ease. The blonde bends all the way down, dusting off the wooden legs. A dust bunny family that took up residences brushed away and-

 _Slap!_

The demon's again assaulted his rear! Pip yips loudly, hopping back up. With one harsh slap, Pip was already tired of the little game Damien was playing. The Anti-Christ snidely gestures back to the cupboard. "My, my, my… That doesn't look clean. I still see a little bit of dust. Get back to work, Pippy."

"And if I refuse?" the Brit says harshly, whipping around in a failed attempt to intimidate him, "Will you attempt to torture me in some barbaric way?"

Those amber eyes of his grow a little darker and he approaches closer, hovering. "You don't want Nichole to hear us do you?" he smiles when Pip backs into the piece of furniture, "I thought you'd be more compliant. Don't ruin the fun."

He lets out a little sigh in contents when their hips meet, hands resting behind him, "I want to clean! It isn't fair! Damien, _please_."

There was that little noise again, causing the noirette to roll his hips into his. Damien's eyes darken when the blonde lets out a breathy sigh, rocking the cupboard back slightly. Eliciting the sound makes Damien repeat the movement, grinning all the while. Pip is pinned between the piece of furniture and a spindly noirette. "Co-control yourself." the blonde hisses, "Damien!"

It was a short lived sort of pleasure when a familiar woman strolls from out of the kitchen, wearing those stupid, clunky yellow gloves that Pip often flaunted. "Jesus fucking Christ! Leave him alone. You know he likes cleaning and it's Sunday. You gotta do your share of chores too, lazy ass."

"He started it!"

The woman places her hands on her hips, shifting onto the other foot, "How?"

"He was playing, 'sexy maid' again. How can I resist? He's a sultry maid and-"

A rubber glove is removed from her hand and it swats his back. He releases Pip and the blonde graciously clings to her, as if she's the knight in shining armor; as if she had slayed the evil dust bunny dragon. "He's my little maid too, don't you forget. And he's the best maid in the world." Nichole smiles down at the blonde, pecking him sweetly. "Thank you for helping me, Pip."

"Your welcome!" He beams.

Damien rolls his eyes, grumbling something about a suck up as Nichole shoves something to his hands, clearing her throat. He peers down, noticing that it's the duster. Pip's duster. He looks back up to the woman confused, "It's your turn to be a sultry little maid, Damien. My turn to harass you." She chuckles, "And we're going to have plenty of fun together."

He was powerless against Nichole. The Anti-Christ. The dark one. Satan's son… intimidated by one mortal woman.

Damien scowls, turning and bending down, down, _down_. He expects two hands to try to grope and slap and when they did, he couldn't help but jump. He whips his head back to the two and they smile deviously at the Anti-Christ.

"Oh my Dami, I think you missed a spot!" Pip chirps.

"Yeah, you're really aren't trying, are you?"

Damien Thorn was no ordinary housecleaner. He didn't have many years of training and experience. He wasn't a natural born dust killer. Armed with duster in one hand, he was a dust bunny dragon, stirring up the bunnies.

Nichole snatches up his hips, running her hands under his ugly black turtle neck, running her long nails over his back. The blonde watches with interest, smiling to himself. Damien got his just desserts and the two continue to tease him relentlessly.

…Cleaning was fun, but having them around was the best.

Besides, who else was he going to play sexy maid with?


End file.
